Reducing Tension During Tough Times: Tip #2

Recently, I’ve been discussing ways to dial down tensions at work. Here’s another way to keep the peace in the office in these challenging times.

Listening is a highly effective tool. But listening means more than taking your headphones off; and it’s more than just “hearing.” Try being an active, empathetic listener. It can be a challenge, but make a concerted effort not to think about the next thing you’re going to say while the other person is talking. Active listening means playing back what you’ve just heard to clarify what’s been said. Skilled active listeners ask questions, and express that they care about what’s being said, even if they disagree.

Did you know that paraphrasing a person’s statements back to them has a calming effect, and elicits much greater receptivity? That doesn’t mean you should automatically agree with everything said by your boss or co-workers. In fact, it makes it easier to disagree in a constructive way.

Here’s an example. If your boss storms in and proclaims, “We’ve got to cut costs by 15%, pronto!,” and you groan and say, “That’s terrible,” you’ve ratcheted the tension levels even higher. If, on the other hand, you say, “Wow, it sounds like we need to cut some expenses; do you have anything specific in mind?,” you’re demonstrating that you’re paying attention and are a team player.

As he shares his ideas, you’ve bought yourself time to think about solutions; he now knows he doesn’t have to argue with you or become defensive; your discussion will be constructive; and you’ll be able to work more collaboratively as you deploy cost cutting initiatives.

It’s been said that we’ve been given two ears and one mouth. During these tense times, that little adage is a great reminder of how active listening benefits the outcome of your own work day, and that of others. It’s also another way you can humanize your workplace™.

Best regards,

Lynn